Eric - what i need to do is get a whole bunch of boxes of colored paper clips

Eric - and make a jar of just the pink ones

Eric - and one for the yellow ones

Eric - scrach that, one jar for each color

kristin - i hate those colored paper clips, i really really do

Eric - for realz?

kristin - yes for real.

Eric - they are thicker than the average clip

kristin - gimme a no-skid, medium metal paperclip any day of the week

Eric - no-skids EVERYDAY

kristin - i'm sayin'.

Eric - i enjoy how they call them "gem clips"

kristin - i throw the colored paper clips away.

Eric - g-yam clyaps

kristin - yes. gem clips exaclty.

kristin - this conversation rules.

kristin - oh, okay you wanna hear an office story?

kristin - cause here goes:

Eric - always

kristin - (back in the day when i moved to the third floor) kristin: �i have about 7 or so file cabinets that we need to take upstairs�

Eric -

kristin - evil woman: �well, there isn't room for them up there, we'll put them in this area here on the first floor� that you can't get into with out an escort thereby making it extremely inconvenient for you to retrieve the files that we begged you to keep for us in the first place.

kristin - me:

kristin - monday...

Eric -

kristin - kristin: �i have about 7 file cabinets still on the first floor that i need. do you think they would fit right here?�

kristin - evil man: �no, there's a printer going there, blah blah blah�

kristin - evil woman: wouldn't you rather have new file cabinets (points to file cabinets already here on floor 2)?

kristin - *this implies that i would go downstairs with an escort, pack 7 file cabinets, move the boxes up here and then put them into different cabinets*

kristin - me:

kristin - today.....

kristin - jessie (the other secretary): �kristin do you need any of these file cabinets? (points at new cabinets)�

kristin - kristin: �no.�

kristin - tuesday.........

kristin - kristin: �i have a fax machine, and there is no jack for it in my cubicle.�

kristin - stupid woman: �oooooooooooooh. there's no jack (mind you she is in charge of the phones)?�

kristin - kristin: �no, there isn't. it could really be put in some sort of common area, since a lot of people use it anyway, etc.�

kristin - yesterday.........

kristin - stupid woman (comes into my cube): �so, there's no jack for your fax?�

kristin - me: �no.�

kristin -

Eric - no Jack,there is no jack

Eric - so why not get ta jackin and fuck off

kristin - and then today................

Eric - haha AND THEN

kristin - evil woman WHO PLANNED THIS MOVE FROM THE BEGINNING AND IS IN CHARGE: �kristin, do you know who is sitting where in the cubicles back there?�

kristin - me: �no. i don't even know where the break room is.�

kristin - evil woman: *joking style like a mom* �YES YOU DO!�

kristin - me: *walking away*

Eric - man

Eric - i love work

Eric - speaking of which, i gotsta work my way over to DOT

Eric - i pray this meeting doesn't go longer htan an hour

Eric - honeslty

kristin - okay.

Eric - first stop diet coke with lime

Eric - i'll be back before i'mout

kristin - i gotsta go on a blood-filled rampage in

Eric - call the cell if you want some back up

kristin - see ya from behind the glass, cause i'm taking these fuckers out.

Eric - k

Eric - we can talk using those phones

Eric - fun times

kristin - yes yes.

Eric - and then yell "put 'em on the glass" to people

kristin - and for my conjugal visits, please bring me um...

Eric - i'll bring you Matt Damon

kristin - yeah okay brad pitt.

Eric - if available

kristin - MATT DAMON, TOO.

Eric - bradley won't be able to make it

kristin - don't start with me.

Eric - no YOU don't start with me

Eric - i'll get my razor

kristin - you don't scare me.

Eric - is that so

kristin - yeah you read me.

Eric - you're the one that'll be behind the bars m'nabe

Eric - you'll get what a bring ya

Eric - and i ain't bringin ya my husband

kristin - i know people on the outside.

Eric - my huuuuzband

kristin - fine fine, matt damon. i don't want to have to hurt you or anything.

Eric - no need to extend the sentence

Eric - alright girl, i'm out

kristin - true.

kristin - okay.

Unrelatedly, I went to go and get some lunch. At the deli they have a seafood pasta salad that is mostly crab and celery. Or, I guess, krab. Anyway. So I sometimes get that and just pick around the pasta. Today I accidentally (or maybe not) put a forkful in my mouth and there was a piece of pasta (mediumish shell-style) in it, and I spit it out. I spit out a single shell-shaped pasta noodle. I have not spit food out of my mouth since the Hot Tamale candy incident while waiting tables. I cannot remember the last time I spit food out of my mouth INTENTIONALLY. I have mixed feelings about this.

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< - >

THAT BITCH - 2005-07-15
JEOPARDY - 2005-06-24
PB&J DAY - 2005-06-16
NOISES - 2005-03-16
COULD WE TALK MORE ABOUT DIPS AND DIPPING? I DON'T THINK SO. - 2005-03-04

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