Eric - (referring to his horoscope) so it's a "lay down and take it" sort of vibe

Eric - more like "lay down, shut the fuck up, and take it"

kristin - looks that way.

kristin - maybe you could do that.

kristin - then again, maybe my nose is on the back of my head.

Eric - just lay down?

Eric - speaking of nose

kristin - yeah?

Eric - so for xmess, dr. c�s company gave them all a ten dollar gift certificate for this place in the crystal city underground

Eric - that does nails, massages, etc.

Eric - called La Or

Eric - anyway

Eric - he gave it to me since he didn't want it

Eric - it was for 10 dollars

Eric - and yesterday i went and redeemed it for a 15 minute massage

kristin - are you gonna get

Eric - one of the ones where you sit in the chair thing

kristin - what the hell are you talking about?

kristin - sit in the chair?

Eric - you know those massgae chairs

kristin - so you sat in a chair for 15 minutes?

Eric - that have the pads for your face

kristin - to the tune of$10

Eric - like a circular thing

Eric - right

kristin - that is really retarded.

Eric - so the head rest thing didn't adjust as high as i needed it

Eric - so instead of my face being in the hole where it was supposed to be

Eric - my nose kept getting mashed into the face bad every time she would do anything

kristin - SIDEBAR:

kristin - i have no idea what this chair type thing is that you're talking about, unless you're talking about a massage table.

Eric - it's not a table

kristin - it's a chair?

Eric - the bottom looks like one of those erganomic chairs

Eric - where your knees are bent

kristin - yeah. i got nothin.

Eric - "where your knees are bent"

Eric - you fucking asshole

Eric - well, the purnt is that i kept gettin gmy nose mashed, i wasn't comfortable and the woman sucked

Eric - so hooray for that

kristin - i mean seriously.

kristin - i have no idea.

Eric - the bonus was that i finally got that goddamn gift certificate out of my wallet

kristin - WOO BOOZ ALLEN HAMILTON FOR THE FANFUCKINGTASTIC GYAFT!!!

Eric - oh totally

kristin - that was our best converstation EVER

Eric - my favorite part: "like one of those chairs where your knees are bent"

Eric -

kristin - HAHHAHHA.

kristin - i was like AM I RETARDED OR WHAT BECAUSE I DON'T GET IT?!

Eric - you lean forward in it and there's a pad that you're supposed to press your chest up against

kristin - so.

Eric - and then there are pads for your knees (it looks like you're kneeling)

Eric - and then your face fits between a circular pad

Eric - so it looks like you're kneeling/praying

Eric - i'm not sure if that helped or made things worse

kristin - so s/he can massage your back?

Eric - right

Eric - back/shoulders

kristin - huh.

kristin - weird.

Eric - yeah, and there was this old man in there getting his nails did.

Eric - NAILBAR: did you know that you can get your nails covered in silk?

Eric - because while reading the menu i was looking at the other py body work they do there

Eric - and one of them is a complete set of nails and you choose acrylic or silk

Eric - i've never heard of that before

kristin - yeah.

kristin - silk wrap

kristin - "silk"

kristin - mm hm.

Eric - silk

Eric - riiiiiiiiiiight

Eric - i did, however find a hair style that i would like to shoot for

Eric - GRAMMARBAR: what's with me and always wanting to use commas?

kristin - ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,kristin.,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, queen of the commas

Eric - uh huh

Eric - i love 'em

kristin - so, this guy came by while i was on teh phone with this lady,

kristin - COMMA

kristin - and he just stood there like "hey i am waiting for you to get off the phone or acknowledge me or something."

kristin - so i turned around.

kristin - and looked at him, and i saw he had a receipt in his hand, which = kristin do a voucher for me.

kristin - so i just put my hand out like "give that to me already"

kristin - don't mess with me today

kristin - COMMA

kristin - or you will get burned.

kristin - UUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH

kristin - *smoking*

Eric - me too

Eric - i'm HON-gry

kristin - haha.

kristin - everytime "fernando" comes on this cd, i'm like WTF is this song???????????

Eric - fernando?

Eric - oh what CD

kristin - by abba

kristin - on the cd i made at your house

Eric - right

Eric - oh

kristin - i put fernando on it

kristin - yeah

Eric - ok, i was like 'i don't remember putting that on any of the cds i made you'

kristin - yeah.

kristin - the funny part/reason that i put that on there is that when we went to see "mama mia" (which really was MAMA MIA), after it was all over i said "man, i totally thought they weren't going to play 'orlando', and that would've been really weird." and crystal says "you mean fernando?"

Eric - orlando

Eric - RIGHT

Eric - NOW

kristin - haha. i know

Eric - but yeah, orlando

kristin - man.

kristin - kristin = smart

kristin - anne knows ALL the words to copa cabana

kristin - i mean all the word

Eric - that song

Eric - i know a lot of the words

Eric - because every queen screams them when they play it on retro night at cobalt

Eric - me:

kristin - well.

kristin - some lady just came by to say that she was back in the office.

kristin - i was like "oh."

kristin - i had no idea she was gone.

kristin - okay, lady.

kristin - good to see you, too.

kristin - (or something)

Eric - right

Eric - words cannot express how much i hate this job

kristin - i just went to pee

kristin - there is a guy fixing something in there

kristin -

kristin - holy i should have just walked into a stall and peed while he was in there all like "whatever"

Eric - you should have

kristin - damnb

kristin - dambh

Eric - ugggggh

Eric - i'm mad at the world, kristin.

kristin - eric, i want to punch the world in the nuts.

Eric - where else can i work that's not corporate

Eric - all i can come up with is retail and food service

kristin - yeah.

kristin - and the bitch of that is that it's corporate, too!

kristin - although you probably wouldn't have to file things

Eric - or take meeting minutes

Eric - or put together power point presentations

kristin - right.

kristin - fuck

Eric - i'm going crazy and i don't know what to do

kristin - me, too.

kristin - meeeeeeeeeeee tooooooooooooooooooooo

Eric - my thought on the way into work was that the two of us need to direct/produce music videos

kristin - mm hm.

Eric - so there's that

kristin - right.

Eric - oh

Eric - my

Eric - god

Eric - the fatty on the kickball team

kristin - YES?

Eric - is now talking about how she was purchased at a bacheor/bachellorette auction

kristin -

Eric - and how he didn't give his informatoin for her to go out

Eric - HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA

kristin - AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHHAHHAHHAHAHHAHHAA

Eric - wassup now pudge?

kristin - tubs.

kristin - man.

kristin - she shoulda told him about KICKBALL

kristin - guys dig fat chicks that play sports.

Eric - honestly

Eric - HAHAHAHAHAHA

kristin - BEEFY

kristin - BRUTE

kristin - BEAUTIFUL

Eric - well, i'm guessing the information was probably given during her "strut" for the auction

Eric - "and tubby here plays kickball.....*crickets*

Eric - we'll start the bidding at 5 dollars.....*crickets*

kristin - HAHAHHAHHHAHAH

Eric - grab this lady while you can gents, she won't be around for long

kristin - "when she's not running the bases she likes to go to happy hour with her girlfriends, watch her 'sex and the city' DVDs, and collect barbies"

Eric - seriously though, we need a book deal

Eric - "when she's not running the bases"

Eric - HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

kristin - yeah.

kristin - when she's not getting smacked in the shin by someone's worm-burner kick...

Eric - she's looking for someone to slide into home with

kristin - E-BAR: i just got an email and the subject line is "Elder Care Telephonic Seminar"

Eric - hahha

Eric - from?

kristin - i dunno.

kristin - my company <3 elder care

Eric - HAHA

Eric - it's a corporate thing?

Eric - sweet.

kristin - oh yeah

Eric - tubs just said that the guy she's "talking to" has an email address of "jedi"something something, random number @aol"

kristin - omg

kristin - yesssssssssssss

Eric - i know

Eric - she was like *talking to Mary* "it's that funny"

kristin - not really

kristin - unless if by funny you mean sad

Eric - right

kristin - *really smoking this time not just saying i'm going to*

Eric - k

Eric - what about a question mark looks like an ear with an earring

Eric - (sign #1 that eric has lost his mind)

kristin - omg it totally does.

kristin - ~

kristin - that looks like a raised eyebrow

Eric - yup

Eric - &

Eric - (someone doing yoga)

kristin - *

kristin - asshole

Eric - hm

Eric - i don'thave any more

kristin - >

kristin - beak

kristin - }

kristin - profile

Eric - oooh

Eric - good call on the profile

kristin - well, the whole reason behind that:

Eric - i've always thought that (about that thing lookin like someones profile)

kristin - my math teacher in 8th grade used to call this:

kristin - { }

kristin - bob hope & bing crosby

Eric - hahaha

Eric - um....k

kristin - oh yeah.

kristin - then again, he used to pretend to sniff his dry erase markers

kristin - "pretend"

kristin - haha.

kristin - right.

Eric - HAHAHA

Eric - "pretend"

Eric - if by pretend you mean get high

kristin - yes.

kristin - mr. thomas

Eric - isn't that when you had to get bused to the high school

Eric - and you could chew gum in class

Eric - who was jealous of that, cause i think it was me

kristin - yep

kristin - yep

Eric - chewing gum in class

kristin - i'm chewing gum right now

kristin - FANCY THAT

Eric - i don't have any gum

Eric - i have wintermint altoids

kristin - member how mom hella always had spearmint breath savesr and how bad they sucked???

kristin - rrrr

Eric - UGGGGGGGGH

kristin - i hate spearmint flavor

Eric - i thought about butterrum

Eric - when i was at giant

kristin - mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Eric - thinking about being in california in '05

kristin - butterscotch dyasks

Eric - dyasks

Eric - and then i thought about "posts"

kristin - the thing with butterrm, though, is if they get kinda old, they get CHEWY

kristin - have you ever noticed that???

kristin - weird.

Eric - what the hell did i have to eat that we always had to do "posts"

kristin - hahha.

kristin - um.

kristin - hahahhahhah

kristin - (sorry, i'm still lauhging at postts)

Eric - POASTS!

kristin - BUTTERBAR: seriously have you noticed how the butterrum savers get chewy?

Eric - that was also during the chopstick phenomenon of 93

Eric - yes i have

kristin - omg.

kristin - CHOPSTICK WA!

Eric - we were in the right city for that too (san fran)

kristin - yes.

kristin - i was talking to chuck and i said something about san fran being 80% asian

Eric - uh huh

kristin - *smoking*

Eric - k

kristin - SOAPBAR: do you think it's bad that i didn't shower this morning?

kristin - WOO!

Eric - i think my favorite "bar" of the day has been "BUTTERBAR"

Eric - i'm going to et my car and drive back here

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< - >

THAT BITCH - 2005-07-15
JEOPARDY - 2005-06-24
PB&J DAY - 2005-06-16
NOISES - 2005-03-16
COULD WE TALK MORE ABOUT DIPS AND DIPPING? I DON'T THINK SO. - 2005-03-04

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